Not Pope Innocent

Fresh off the press, my new hit single, Not Pope Innocent!

I think I did it again
I made you believe it’s God’s holy war
Oh, Catholics
I might write papal bulls
But that doesn’t mean I’m your next saint
Cause to win at politics
That is just how I want to beat
(di Sezze)

Oops, I did it again
Invaded the Jews, got lost in crusades
(Oh one church, true church)
Oops, you think I’ve God’s love
That I was sent from abo-o-ove
I’m not Pope Innocent

You see my pawns are arranged
You’re wasting away
Wishing the cardinals would all vote your way
I snort, awaiting the day
Can’t you see you’re a fool flubbing political plays?
But to win at politics
That is just how I want to beat
(di Sezze, Sezze)

Oops, I did it again
Bribed the synod, rewrote church doctrine
Oh Catholics, Catholics
Oops, you think it’s God’s plan
The Son of Ma-a-a-an
I’m not Pope Innocent

(Pope Alexander! Wait, before you go, there’s something I want you to have.)
(It’s slimy! But wait, isn’t this…?)
(Yeah, yes it is.)
(But I thought the Spear of Longinus was at the bottom of the Dead Sea.)
(Well, Your Holiness, I went down and brought it back for you.)
(I grant you lands and my blessing for your service to the Holy Church.)

Oops I did it again to your church
Got lost in crusades oh synod
Oops you think that I’m sent from above
I’m not Pope Innocent.

(In the interests of historical accuracy, I must point out that Pope Alexander III did not, in fact, call any crusades.)

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